weight loss

Five Secret Tricks to Regain Control of Your Eating (Part 5)

This is the final step of our journey of finding more self-control.

In the first four steps, we’ve covered how to use our dinner plates effectively for improved weight management and weight loss, and have gained self-control while grocery shopping, at the office, and in restaurants.

The last place can sometimes be the most difficult.

At home.

We are going to apply three of the previous lessons here.  

First, I want you to treat your dining area as if it is a restaurant. Plate your first serving in kitchen, and do not forget to use the “Half Plate Habit” that we learned in Part One. 

But additionally, here we are going to divide all the food in the kitchen, just like we do on our plate. After we serve ourselves, bring the veggies, lettuce salads, fruits and milk to the table. Leave the entrees and starches in the kitchen.

This reinforces three previous tricks: “Half Plate Habit”, “Out of Sight, Out of Mind” and the “Six Foot Rule.”

You will always eat what is easily obtained, so make sure the vegetables and fruit are always prominent. And this applies not just during a meal. Have a bowl of fruit out on the counter and hide the chips, cookies and crackers in the pantry (or get rid of them altogether.)


Make sure that everyone has water in a glass waiting for them on the dining table. Again, if it is already in front of them, it will more like be consumed.



Make the dining experience enjoyable, not rushed. Do what most of the nicer restaurants do to make people satisfied with the environment. Dim the lights a little to help people bring focus to the food. Soft music in the background is excellent. 

And turn the TV off. Television is a distraction and leads to mindless eating, instead of what we are trying to do here, which is mindful eating. And everyone stays at the table until everyone is done eating. Make dinner a social event something to be enjoyed rather than rushed through.

Those are the five “secret” tricks to gain control while eating, whether you are at home, in the restaurant, at work or anywhere. When you use these simple actions, you will begin experiencing controlled eating. You will start enjoying those Simple Small Successes. And that will give you the confidence to make other changes to your eating habits.

And you will enjoy life more than before.

By now, you may have already read the five secret tricks, but if you want to listen to me as I talk about them, here is the podcast episode http://makeyoursomedaytoday.com/5Tricks.
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Again, I want to acknowledge Dr. Brian Wansink and both of his excellent books, “Mindless Eating” and “Slim By Design”. His research and more importantly, his well-written and easy to read books were the source of these suggestions. You can buy these books using the affiliate links within the show notes.

Five Secret Tricks to Regain Control of Your Eating (Part 4)

Welcome back to this series of life-changing tips which are very simple to use!

To recap, we use going to use the “Half Plate Habit” everywhere, chew gum while shopping, and move temptations at the office out of sight.

But many of us eat one or more meals away from home and office. What about when we eat at a restaurant? How can you use the “Half Plate Habit” when you are not in charge of plating your food?

I will offer a few simple actions. Oh, I know, you already know the trick about having the server pack up half the entrée before they even bring it to the table. That will prevent you from eating the entire meal without thinking.

(Do you do that? I don’t. I should, but I don’t.)

And we probably should order all those “heart healthy” foods. You know, those foods with the little heart logo. But do we? Not usually. Sometimes those foods just don’t look appetizing, or the portions seem too small, but for whatever reason, we ignore those options.

So what can we do? I have three simple suggestions.

  • One is seating location. Ask for a seat near a window or a well-lit location. When people sit in a booth, in the far corner, dark and isolated, people tend to order more and then eat more. Sitting near a window or on the outdoor patio, generally helps people make healthier choices. When you can be seen, you will usually do what you “should do.”
  • The second step is when you order a meal, remember to use the “Half Plate Habit”. Instead of a starchy side dish, ask for extra vegetable or a side salad. And when the server arrives, immediately ask for a glass of water with a lemon or cucumber slice, and ask him or her to not bring the dinner roll basket.
  • Lastly, you should try to limit alcohol consumption. Not only is alcohol empty calories, but one of the first effects of alcohol is to put our “decider brain” into a deep sleep. That is why we tend to eat when we drink. But if you are sitting near the window you probably will also not be sitting near the bar, so that decision will be easier. 

If you really want to throw caution to the winds, and bypass everything we’ve learned so far, order food while sitting at a dimly lit bar, during double-bubble happy hour, and with 2 televisions going.

But if you really want to do that, we will need to have a one-on-one session.

And just a reminder, if you do not want to wait, you can listen to last week’s podcast, where I list all five suggestions. The show is about 30 minutes long, and you can find it here. You can also subscribe to my podcast in iTunes (for users of Apple products) or Stitcher (non-Apple devices.)

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I want to acknowledge Dr. Brian Wansink and both of his excellent books, “Mindless Eating” and “Slim By Design”. His research and more importantly, his well-written and easy to read books were the source of these suggestions. 

Five Secret Tricks to Regain Control of Your Eating (Part 3)

If you just found this blog, I am giving five tricks (they really are not secret) for learning how to gain control over your eating habits.

On Monday, we learned a new method of portion control. It does not require weighing or measuring your food, nor do you need to record what you eat. It is called the “Half Plate Habit.” Yesterday, we went grocery shopping and learned a simple (and tasty) tip for keeping your buying habits under control while at the grocery store or market.


What about at work? Oh, that is a major challenge, right? I know coworkers who always have a bowl of candies on their desk. In fact, I have a bowl of candy in my cubicle, too.

There are two saying that could apply here. One is “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” But the saying which really applies is “Out of sight is out of mind.”

Did you notice the difference with my candy bowl? Mine is not on my desk. I keep it in a cabinet drawer, locked, behind my chair. I only use it when I know I am meeting with students, especially at the end of the semester. I unlock the candy, and place it out just before the students arrive, and when they leave, I immediately lock it back up.

The time it takes to unlock my cabinet is just enough for my “decider brain” to kick in and remind me that I really do not want nor need that candy. Another option is to put the candy in a covered bowl (ideally not a clear bowl) and moving it a mere six feet away. Just six feet! Those few steps are enough to get your “decider brain” active and in control. Candy in sight and within reach is candy that will be eaten.

Something else to do at work is to lock you purse or wallet in another drawer. That will prevent the random wander past the vending machines or cafeteria. The other tip for the work place is to bring your own food from home. When you pack your food, you are in control of everything. You know exactly what you packed, and how much you have. (Remember, you will still use the “Half Plate Habit” even when packing your food.)

Don’t sit at your desk and eat. Go to the cafeteria or go outside and eat while enjoying the sun. But don’t bring your money with you, so that will eliminate the temptation of buying some food there. Enjoy your time away from your desk. Enjoy your food. Recharge your mind away from your desk.



And just a reminder, if you do not want to wait, you can listen to last week’s podcast, where I list all five suggestions. The show is about 30 minutes long, and you can find it here. You can also subscribe to my podcast in iTunes (for users of Apple products) or Stitcher (non-Apple devices.)

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I want to acknowledge Dr. Brian Wansink and both of his excellent books, “Mindless Eating” and “Slim By Design”. His research and more importantly, his well-written and easy to read books were the source of these suggestions. 

Five Secret Tricks to Regain Control of Your Eating (Part 2)

Yesterday, I talked about a new approach to weight management. Specifically, I gave you the idea of  the “Half Plate Habit.”
Using the Half Plate Habit whenever you eat from a plate will help you regain control over your eating. It is an easy method of teaching self-control, and costs nothing to implement. That’s right. A free new method to assist weight management and possibly weight loss.
While the Half Plate Habit can be used anywhere, the next suggestion is location-specific. Another place where you encounter food is at the grocery store. We all know that shopping on an empty stomach is a bad idea (but we still do it all the time). 

However, studies show that it is not that we are hungry when we shop, but rather that our good memory and imagination kicks in to tempt us. We walk past broccoli, cabbage and onions with no imagination input, but walk past the delicatessen, the aisle full of potato chips or the bakery with its fresh doughnuts, and we start remembering how good those donuts taste, we remember the sound of crunching those chips, and we revel in the memory of the last time we ate those warm onion rings (at the last football game, right?)

(Side note: as I sit here and write this section, my stomach is growling and my salivary glands are working overtime. And I do not have anything in front of me other than my laptop. It is all my imagination and memory creating this physiological response, just as if I were standing in front of an endless sea of sweets.)

How can we short-circuit our imagination and memory? We are going to give it something else to focus on:

Gum

It could be Bubbliscious, Juicy Fruit, or Bazooka Joe, but when we chew gum while shopping, it is more difficult to imagine the taste of those onion ring and sweet rolls. Please give this a try. This is the only suggestion that will cost you any money, and the price of gum will probably be offset by the savings when you don’t buy that bag of Cheetos.

That’s it for today’s tip. Tomorrow will be a suggestion for simple changes on the job.

And just a reminder, if you do not want to wait, you can listen to last week’s podcast, where I list all five suggestions. The show is about 30 minutes long, and you can find it here. You can also subscribe to my podcast in iTunes (for users of Apple products) or Stitcher (non-Apple devices.)

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Again, I want to acknowledge Dr. Brian Wansink and both of his excellent books, “Mindless Eating” and “Slim By Design”. His research and more importantly, his well-written and easy to read books, were the source of these suggestions.

Do You Want to Eat Healthier, Gain Control and Maybe Even Lose Weight?

Such a simple thing: a bowl of fresh fruit

This bowl of fruit will help you eat healthier by making better choices. It will help you gain control over your eating habits and your life. And it will help you better manage your weight. It may help you lose weight.

It may help increase your happiness.

It sounds like it is magic, bit its not. But it is a sneaky trick.  Our brains our powerful and sometimes work against our best interests.

Next week, I will post a 5 part series here, beginning on Monday, October 27, 2014, giving you secret “tricks” that you can do anywhere: at home, the office, in a restaurant, in the grocery store.

These tricks are simple. And effective when used. And they cost almost nothing. Well, one trick will cost you about 50 cents a month. Maybe less.

But take note. With these five small changes, you will not be asked to:

  • Buy different food
  • Cook differently
  • Eat at strange restaurant
  • Stop eating at restaurants
  • Count calories (Yes. That’s right I said “NOT count calories!!!!”)
  • Weight and measure your food
  • Perform exhausting exercises
  • Attend meetings
  • Buy special “fat burning, metabolism-revving, appetite suppressing” pills
So what are the five secret tricks?
I’ll post them next week, one a day, beginning on Monday.
Yes. I know. This is an unsufferable tease. Do you really want to know what they are sooner? If so, you can listen to my podcast where I release all the goodies. 
Wow. Such a mean way to oncourage more people to listen to my podcast. (Guilty as charged.)
And after you listen, go to the homepage (http://MakeYourSomedayToday.com) and click on the yellowish button that reads “Varsity Squad” and join the group of team mates who get the earliest scoop on new information.
Get ready for five simple changes that will change your life.

Where Do You Want to Go?

Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? Who do you want to be?

I don’t know your answer to those questions. Maybe you don’t either. But your options are nearly unlimited. Or rather, they are only limited by one thing: you.

What do you want?

The first step in anything is having a plan. Choose something as your goal. Weight loss. New career. Launch a podcast. Walk the Pacific Crest Trail. Anything. Find a goal, something that you are passionate over, and make a specific goal statement. Picture what success looks like. Write your goal–on paper–and attach it somewhere you will see it frequently. Be as specific as specific as possible. Set a deadline, for all goals except weight loss. Our bodies are frequent obstinant about losing weight. Focus on the end weight, not a due date, and you will have less frustration.

The next step is take action which moves you toward the goal. Right now. Don’t wait. Tomorrow will not be any better than today. Just act. Will it be the right action? I don’t know. Neither do you, until you try. If you want to lose weight, maybe that means downloading a calorie-counting app (like LoseIt, which I use.) Start using it. If you find success, great! If after a few weeks of consistent use, you find it unhelpful, try something else. Nothing will happen until you do something!

You may decide to get more active. I wear my Fitbit to help keep me moving. But you need to 1) wear it, and 2) keep moving to get any benefit!

I have a friend who stated in November 2013 that he would launch his podcast in one year. To date, he still is chasing ideas for his podcast. As he puts it, “When you chase two rabbits, you don’t catch any.” Now, that isn’t a terrible thing, but until he know what he really wants, he will continue to chase those rabbits.

Deepak Chopra put it nicely when he said “No solution can ever be found by running in three different directions.”

Do you want a new career? What do you love doing? That isn’t necessarily what you enjoy as a hobby, but what makes you feel completed? I homebrew beer. For a few years, I actively considered creating my own brewpub (brewery and restaurant) because I make really good beer, I am a good chef, and I love servin people my food and beer. But the more I looked at it, the more I realized that while I love brewing and cooking for myself, my family and my friends, doing it every day, on a demanding schedule would not make me happy. Look into classes at your local community college. Maybe you can test your resolve by taking a class in accounting (if you want to become an accountant) or welding (if that is your plan.)

Side note: here in Northeastern Wisconsin, we can’t seem to find enough skilled welders. The college that I teach offers welding programs that are always filled. A good job, if you like that type of work, might be waiting for you in Wisconsin.

Do you want to start a podcast, blog or write a book? Well, guess what? Those don’t magically appear. They all involve writing and a significant committment of time and energy. And they all take consistent effort. That is similar to students who buy a textbook but rarely–or never–open it, and then wonder why their test scores are low.

Find a resource, sit down and take action. To learn how to podcast, go to Meron Bareket’s Podcast Starter Kit. Starting a blog is easy when you follow Leslie Samuel’s “Become a Blogger” plan. Jeff Goins is an awesome author and his blog “Goins, Writer” helps new authors get their start.

So, you have a plan and you took your first steps. Are you having any success? You need to always evaluate your progress. Maybe not daily, but weekly or monthly is a good timeline for assessment. Sit down at the same time each week, and look at your metrics. How many pounds did you lose? How many days did you eat within your budget? How many words per day did you write, or how many interviews did you record and edit? Is that answer what you need to reach your goal? If yes, stick with it. If not, consider small changes to maximize your chances of success. Maybe find a mentor, face to face or vitual to help provide accountability. That is what I do for my weight management clients.

When should you do this?

Right now. What will be accomplished by waiting? Even if you say that you need to wait until tomorrow for that flight to Tibet, you can still take action today to prepare for it. Act now. It is the only time that you now you will have.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain
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Note: the links to LoseIt, Fitbit and the Podcast Starter Kit are my affiliate links. (Other links are simply excellent resources.) That means if you click on those and buy one (or all) I will receive a small commission. It does not change your cost at all, but it will help me continue to provide recipes and advice here and in my podcast Make Your Someday Today. That is the only firm of payment I have here, or in the podcast. I tell you about tools that worked for, and if you belief they can help you, your purchase keeps my work going. And for that, I thank you!
All photos published on Unsplash are licensed under Creative Commons Zero which means you can can copy, modify, distribute and use the photos, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.

Achieve Success on Your First Attempt!

“Character consists of what you do on your third and fourth tries.” James Michener, US author

How many people reading this have tried to lose weight just one time and achieved permanent success?

Has anyone ever grabbed their skateboard and landed a 360 kickflip on their first try?
How many people started a blog, podcast or any online business and immediately became a success?
Anyone?
I didn’t think so. Weight loss,  skateboarding, blogging, and podcasting, like almost everything in life, is not smooth, easy, and predictable. It requires the ability to try and try again, repeating it over and over if needed. What do you think about the person who attempts something difficult and quits the first time they encounter an obstacle? Maybe you mentally label them a “quitter.” Maybe you look on them with scorn and tell yourself that you would be stronger than that. Maybe you feel pity for them, because you are sympathetic to their plight.
But does anyone look at that person with increased caring and concern? Probably not. But here is the kicker. No matter how other people look at the person, no matter what label we apply, that is nothing compared to what he/she feels of themselves. It is utter failure. Again. It is further proof that we are not good enough, that we don’t deserve success.
And that is what tarnishes the character of the person. Their self-doubts, their assumption of inevitable loss, their inability to stop looking backwards at previous attempts, all play a role in future failures. I know. This is not my first attempt at weight loss. I felt all those feelings. I understand the feelings of defeat and despair.
But this is my first successful attempt at weight loss. (I won’t claim success in launching my podcast quite yet.) I don’t know how to put into words what was different this time. I think I finally reached my breaking point. I think I started looking at things with a sense of realistic dread of what my path was leading to. I didn’t want to be the patient in the ER who required four people to move in bed. I didn’t want to have a heart attack or stroke. I was developing uncontrolled high blood pressure, so high that the Red Cross continually deferred me from donating blood.
Some people would call it an epiphany. I just call it life changing. I decided that I didn’t care how many times I had failed to reach my goals; I was not going to stop this time. I would not let anything deter me. My goal was my priority. It helped me make difficult decisions, and it kept my focus laser-sharp. Honestly, I was scared. I was fat and scared.
I don’t know if I would have been as successful losing weight without LoseIt and Fitbit. Maybe I would have, but I’m glad I don’t need to find out. I am almost 18 months at or below goal weight. I will not go back. It isn’t even an option. My entire being is now focused on the idea of staying where I am, staying healthy, and enjoying life. With that attitude, choosing to not get an ice cream cone is easier. (Not “easy”, just “easier.”) It also helps that I still use LoseIt and Fitbit, and will forever (or until LoseIt goes away.)
And I must thank my friend Meron Bareket and his Podcast Starter Kit because that is how I was able to launch my podcast. Meron didn’t promise success. No one can promise you success in anything. But Meron, and I, give the tools that are needed to work toward goals. You still need to add the magic ingredients: determination, drive, and the right effort.
My character used to be defined by my failures, by my willingness to quit when it got challenging. Now it is defined by my successes. Everyone here has those same choices to make. You can decide to take the easy way out, stop measuring your food, or log only occasionally, or drive when you could walk. You can choose to have a “cheat day” (which then can become “cheat days”) or you can decide this isn’t fast enough and find something else. Or you can decide that your health and well-being are more important than that extra donut at the office, and that happiness with yourself is worth more than sitting on your butt and watching TV.

Our actions and choices create our character. How do you want to define your character?

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Note: the links to LoseIt, Fitbit and the Podcast Starter Kit are my affiliate links. That means if you click on those and buy one (or all) I will receive a small commission. It does not change your cost at all, but it will help me continue to provide recipes and advice here and in my podcast Make Your Someday Today. That is the only firm of payment I have here, or in the podcast. I tell you about tools that worked for, and if you belief they can help you, your purchase keeps my work going. And for that, I thank you!

Note: the links to LoseIt, Fitbit and the Podcast Starter Kit are my affiliate links. That means if you click on those and buy one (or all) I will receive a small commission. It does not change your cost at all, but it will help me continue to provide recipes and advice here and in my podcast Make Your Someday Today. That is the only firm of payment I have here, or in the podcast. I tell you about tools that worked for, and if you belief they can help you, your purchase keeps my work going. And for that, I thank you!
Photo courtesy of Unsplash.com and Victor Erixon.

Unsplash License:  “All photos published on Unsplash are licensed under Creative Commons Zero which means you can can copy, modify, distribute and use the photos, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.”

Small Changes Make a Big Difference

What if you could do one small, almost invisible thing, and that simple act would help reduce your calorie intake by up to 359 calories a meal?

Would that help you get healthy?

Would it help the people you live with?

What would you pay to prevent gaining 38 pounds a year?

Would you make the decision to act?

Many current sets of dinnerware feature dinner plates that are 10-11 inches. I’ve seen one with 12″ plates. The set of Corel plates that we formerly used had 11″ dinner plates and 8.5″ salad plates.

These are much larger that our vintage plates from the 1950s, when dinner plates were 9″ and salad plates were 7.5″. That doesn’t sound like much, until you calculate the area that each plate holds.
My wife and I use the 9″ plates, but we leave a thumb-width around the edge. That reduces the available area to 8″. Why don’t we just use the 7.5″ plate? Because by always leaving a thumb width on every plate, we train ourselves for those days when we eat at someone’s home. We’ve done it long enough that we know how much empty space to keep all around the plate.
We only fill it one time, and we don’t pile food on top of each other, so we are careful to only choose the foods we love.
What a difference an inch makes!
Plate Diameter  Square Inches   Ratio to 8” plate
         12”                   113.1                  2.25
         11”                     95.03                1.89
         10”                     78.54                1.56
           9”                     63.62                1.27
           8”                     50.27                1.0
So what does all that mean?
When I used the 11″ plates and filled them to the edges–not an uncommon practice in my previous life–I was able to put 1.89 times more food on that plate than I can now. If my old way of eating allowed me to load 1000 calories (imagine a Thanksgiving dinner with turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and all the rest of my most favorite meal), my new plating habit now only allows 529 calories. Changing that eating habit saved me up to 471 calories, and since I routinely ate second and third helpings, my other new habit of only one serving saves many more calories.
If you just switch from a 10″ to 9″ plate, you will save a lot of calories. That 10″ plate holds 1.23 times the food a 9″ plate will hold. Again, comparing a potential 1000 calories piled on the 10″ plate, that will be reduced to 813 calories (edge to edge) or only 641 if you use my thumb-room method.

That is potentially 359 calories saved. In ONE meal! Over the course of a year, that would be almost 131,000 calories eaten. Eating off your old plates could add almost 38 pounds–or using the new plates may help you lose the same amount.

In every case, we will see a full plate. Our minds will think that we are getting a LOT of food, but we will be limiting how much we eat.
The difference in how much food a plate can hold, based on comparison of square inches.

The equation is area = πr2(where pi = 3.141592654) 

Walt Disney and John Wayne Give Great Advice

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney
I remember when I needed to wear size 3XL scrubs. I was miserable, but I had given up. I assumed I was just destined to be fat. And it was embarrassing to work in an ER and be nearly 300 pounds. I wanted to weigh less, but I was afraid to try, because I was afraid to fail. Again. I dreamt of being “near normal”, of wearing clothes that did not come from a “Big and Tall” section of the store.
When I finally made the decision, my wife and I started a “diet”. We lost weight, for a while, and then we predictably put it back on. Finally, in May 2011, I decided that enough was enough and started using LoseItand she started using Weight Watchers. We both realized that if we didn’t take action—now—things would only get worse, until very bad things began to happen.
We were both committed to our goal, and yet we were both scared. We were worried about what our friends and relatives would say, but the compliments and the sharp little attacks, such as, “Oh, so you’re trying to lose weight again, hm? What makes you think it will work this time?”
We were afraid of failing.
We didn’t stop. We lost weight. We donated clothes as soon as the no longer fit. We have supported our local Goodwills with all our donated clothes (and we shop there, too.) We got more active. I started walking and discovered that I enjoy it. I bought a Fitbit. My wife got active with DVD exercise routines and yoga.
And the losses continued. We continued to be afraid of failing, of reverting back to our old habits. We developed a habit of planning a week’s worth of meals, and buying only what we need for the meals. We got into the habit of walking our dog once or twice a day. We started parking as far from the entrance to stores as possible and getting extra walking. I stopped using elevators.
We continued have successes and we continued to be fearful of this being only temporary. We solidified our habits, sort of making them institutionalized. We developed a grocery shopping list that I have on my computer to make shopping more efficient. We have our weekend routine of hitting various thrift stores together. We eat meals together when my teaching/clinical schedule allows it, sitting at the dinner table, not in front of the TV. We get up early in the morning to walk and workout. We eat a hearty breakfast and I prepare every day. I pack our lunches and snacks for the day.
We stopped feeling “fear” about slipping back. We were too focused on our plan to have time to worry. We just kept on doing what was working. Life became routine. Weighing and measuring food was normal. The losses continued.
And then I hit my goal. To reinforce my commitment, I tattooed a phrase on my right wrist, forever reminding me to never quit. (An explanation of the phrase can be found in a blog post from January 19, 2012.)My wife continued to lose weight. Fear of failure subsided, but was replaced by eternal vigilance. And the fear of regaining. I continued to weigh/measure my food, and log everything. I still do, and plan to continue until the day arrives where I am unable to care for myself.
My wife’s losses have eclipsed my own. Her success has been remarkable and serves as my inspiration. She is my hero. My maintenance for 16+ months serves as her inspiration, as validation that successes can be realized. She calls me her hero.
We started this journey out of fear. We feared what could—no, what would—happen if we left our habits and practices continue unchecked. In the ER, I cared for people who had heart attacks and strokes. Diabetes and high blood pressure were common conditions. I was afraid of that. Moreover, I was afraid that when I had my heart attack—not if, but when—I would be that patient who required a “team boost” because I was too heavy for two people to move in the bed. I was ashamed of myself in advance.
Fear propelled us into action, and helped to keep us on track. Our fear of failure was great. It was not great enough to prevent us from quitting, but it was great enough to serve as a light whip at our backs.  We used it to motivate us, not to cripple our efforts.
Our dreams are coming true, because we were not too afraid to act. We had the courage to succeed. As David Joseph Schwartz said, “Do what you fear and fear disappears.”
John Wayne said it even better: “Courage is being scared to death…and saddling up anyway.”

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Note: the links to LoseIt and Fitbit are my affiliate links. That means if you click on those and buy one (or both) I will receive a small commission. It does not change your cost at all, but it will help me continue to provide recipes and advice here and in my podcast Make Your Someday Today. 

Success Is Internal, But The Growth is External

“A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.”
Ayn Rand
My wife and I are re-watching the TV series “Mad Men” and one of the characters likes Ayn Rand. I like her quote above, but I would replace “creative” with the word “successful”.

My awesome wife, Tammy!

We are competing internally. I don’t care how many challenges you join on LoseIt, the battle for weight management is a fight with your own body and mind. The battle for success in the field of podcasting or blogging lies inside you, with your ability to create a quality product and connect with your audience. It does not matter who else is podcasting or how many other blogs exist. Their success will not diminish your potential success. 
True success occurs because you want to become the person that you really are, not by wanting to lose weight faster than your neighbor, or publish more blog posts. If you entered a marathon, would you prefer to define your personal success based on how well you placed compared to the other runners, or based on the percentage of improvement over your last marathon? Why would it be any different here?
Achieving success is more than a number on a scale or download numbers on iTunes. It is being part of a group effort, of working for the common good. My guess is that people who are not interactive here and in the forums are the people who rapidly give up. When we post to each other and respond in the forum, we are all doing what we can to support someone else. We sometimes give them a new idea to try. Sometimes we are the bucket of cold water trying to bring some reality to the situation. But in either case, we are part of a team and looked at from afar, everyone gets better.
Looking back at running for a moment, which is run faster, four people competing in a one mile race or a team of four running the 4×440 relay as a team?  It is the same distance, but the relay will be completed MUCH faster, because each person does their part for the whole team.
The people of “Mad Men” competed externally and internally. They were all afraid of losing business to another firm and they all wanted to be the most productive account executive for personal rewards. They generally succeeded but I just wonder what they could have accomplished if the various departments and people acted as if they were integrated rather than separate units. If everyone were part owner instead of a salaried employee, there would be incentive to make sure you help the person next to you instead of sneak behind them for personal glory.
Make Your Someday Today is all about individual choices and responsibility, but it is also about everyone helping someone else. We all have knowledge and expertise. We all have needs and weaknesses. We can all participate in making others successful, because choirs sing best when many voices are singing the same song.
Personal experience: I would guess that many people reading this know the song “Piano Man” by Billy Joel. My wife and I attended a Billy Joel/Elton John concert back in 1995 at Milwaukee County Stadium with 54,000 people in the stadium. At the end of the concert, in the final curtain call, both singers came out without their bands and backup singers. They sat at their respective pianos for two final songs. The first song they both sang was “Good Bye, Norma Jean”. It was beautiful. And then they both played “Piano Man.” I love that song. I always have and always will. It is a beautiful solo ballad. But to this day, I still get a shiver down my spine when I think of 54,000 people rising to their feet and singing “Piano Man” in unison. I will never hear anything like that again. It wasn’t a planned sing-along. The performers didn’t invite us to serenade them. It was a spontaneous event.
There were good singers in the crowd. There were also singers who sang like me. And I am sure we sang in many different keys. None of that mattered. Our combined voices created a one-of-a-kind choir. The applause afterwards was deafening, because we were applauding ourselves for helping each other be better. There were a few tears, as well, for no apparent reason other than beauty takes many unexpected forms.
We can all do that here. Everyone here can be helped and at the same time be helped. The only saying is that the rising tide raises all boats.  Be part of the tide that raises everyone around you.

(Post-script:  As I sit here proofing this essay, with my iPod on shuffle, “Piano Man” begins to play.)